this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
