I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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