Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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