Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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