i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
