why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
