If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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