he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
