I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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