We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
