there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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