I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
