It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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