Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My balls are so social today.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
