So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
