Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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