Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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