The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
