I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
