it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
