He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
