I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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