Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
