I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
