his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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