I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
