We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
