I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
