I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
