I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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