This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
