that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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