Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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