also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
