Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we made out on top of his cat.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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