Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
