you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
