member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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