well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
