Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
