Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
