she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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