it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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