This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
