Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have aggressive nipples.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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