Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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