i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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