So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
