would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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