But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
