spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
