If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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