We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
